By Brian Lisankie
This trip is going to be a little different. Hunting South Africa along with descendants of the Vikings—on film most of the time, which changes everything. Remember to explain stuff to the audience, forget the pressure of shooting game on camera, dress accordingly, and stop cursing (“This film is rated PG asshole!”).
16-hour flight from Atlanta to SA allowed a solid 8-9 hours of sleep. Dinner, a couple of movies, drinks, and an OTC sleep aid resulted in a painless experience. Hunter Thompson once said flying United Airlines was “like crossing the Andes in a prison bus.” Flying to Africa in Delta One is a breeze, and the upgrade is certainly worth the investment. That’s what credit is for.
Almost all of our camera gear made it. Almost. Starting project down one digital camera and one lens. Locks do absolutely nothing if everyone working at the airport can defeat them.
Arrival procedure no problem—easy firearm processing with the world famous Mr. X managing the SAPS import process. Staying in Joburg first arrival night at Afton House just a short van ride from the airport is always a blessing. Tell Elize I sent you.
Driving rented pickup truck from airport to the border between South Africa and Botswana accompanied by a Dane with a movie camera and former World’s Strongest Man contestant—both of whom too big for the cramped cab of a Toyota Hilux jammed with rifles and hard cases full of camera gear.
Devious bastards at the rental agency switched two of our three previously reserved 4×4 trucks to 2WD on the sly. Not much of an issue for 90% of the drive, but for that last 10%…. man!
Driving a right-hand-rigged vehicle is not as bad as you’d think—even if you’ve never done it before. Just get used to shifting gears with your left hand, and constantly activating the windscreen wipers whenever you’re trying to signal a turn.
Joburg has lots of traffic lights, but few seem to be functional—most have been replaced with four way stop signs, so remember to look right at intersections instead of left or you’ll be supporting the local body repair shops.
Passing tall mountains of spoils from the gold mines. Burning fields filling the air with smoke. Shanty towns. Donkeys. Some stress—think I bit completely through and/or swallowed multiple Zyn pouches along the way.
New government elected on a law-and-order ticket, and most visible result seems to be numerous police roadblocks—at the airport, heading out of the city, and along multiple rural routes as well. Keep your documents handy.
Ran into five roadblocks along our way. Actually stopped for four of them. Baksheesh required nearly everywhere you go. Keep a supply of SA Rand bills readily accessible even though those eliciting payments really just want US Dollars instead. Preferably twenties.
Signs in the airport saying “stop corruption by refusing to make payments.” Good luck with that. Total of $100 and a bag of biltong managed to get our convoy of three trucks through to our destination.
Epic potholes on the tar seal roads. Homemade donkey-powered wagons atop truck axles (Kalahari Ferraris). Guys waving flags beseeching you to slow down as their cattle herds graze roadside. Stay far enough back to avoid the dust plume from the vehicles ahead. No need to ask which way to turn at intersections—just follow the dust clouds soaring skywards in the distance across the plain.
Last 1.5 hours of the trip were “Top Gear Special” driving—starting to feel like Jeremy Clarkson behind the wheel. 2WD trucks woefully inadequate in the deeply rutted sand roads. Turn off stability control to maintain power to the wheels in the sand and get used to locking rear diff bunny hop when trying to get unstuck. Arrived nine hours later really wishing we had chartered an airplane instead.
Checked into my private hut and met my roommates, Abercrombie and Fitch—two spiders both the size of an outstretched hand. They stayed out of my way, so we co-existed until morning of day three when Fitch violated the terms of our oral agreement by entering my bathtub. This required exercising the termination clause by depositing the contents of the electric tea kettle on him.
Next day sighted in and went afield. Missed shot on first sable shooting off of tracker’s shoulder as he crouched with his fingers in ears.
I’m a freehand rifleman and hate shooting from the requisite sticks the PHs want everyone to shoot from—especially dislike the ones with front & rear support. Control of rifle better with front v stick under the forend only—eventually won that argument.
Next day found surprise buffalo herd. Tracked into evening wilderness to no avail.
Drinkology – As opposed to Lion Lager in the Eastern Cape, Castle Light seems to be the field beer of choice in the northwest province of South Africa. Gin & Tonic sundowners. Swedish love of brandy & Coke camp drinks caused an unexpected resupply mission to the nearest liquor store which proved to be anything but nearby.
Day Four – Found buffalo. World’s Strongest Man took nice bull. Got to see him grab a dead buff by the horns and drag it into position for winching into the truck bed. How is that even possible?
Day Five – Took nice sable after hard day hunting and multiple stalks.
Throbbing pulse of low RPM diesel engine of the Land Cruiser cruising the sand roads between hunting sections in second gear was like the engine sound inside a large ship. Low electric bass tone (bum-bum-bum-bum-bum) of the motor mixed together with the gear box adding slowly alternating high-low notes of some kind of repetitive sedated cello concerto. I hear that sound in my sleep.
Blackthorn trees scratching against side of the vehicle like a metal rake rasping against the side of a steel fuel barrel. Tracker seat attached to the front of the truck (African GPS) watching for tracks in the road. That guy could follow a trail of tears in a rainstorm. Pay attention and watch your head.
Learn to walk silently or face the wrath of the PH. Focus too much on stepping on sticks or brittle grass and the thorn bushes will snag your shirt or hat. Don’t let your rifle stock make contact with your belt buckle or spare cartridges. Quickly learn to do the limbo and to low-crawl holding a rifle.
Courteney boots keep your feet from sinking into deep sand – as challenging as walking on a seaside beach. Climb up and down the ladder of the Land Cruiser 20 times per day. Load your rifle on the way out, clear it on the way in. Repeat as necessary.
PHs, tracker, and local cameraman all speaking Afrikaans on the truck – completely beyond my understanding. Soon figure out that it’s time to get off truck whenever the cameraman grabs his movie camera, and time to get ready to shoot when PH puts his ear plugs in.
Day Six – Hunted buffalo hard. First chance resulted in pissed off PH trying to collapse legs of shooting sticks for sitting shot in thick blackthorn and raisin tree cover. Second chance – cut the buff off using mechanized warfare maneuvers and ambushed the herd on foot. Ready to pull trigger – PH said no due to multiple branches risking deflection of the shot.
Day Seven – Last chance. Hunted hard all day. Must have walked ten miles in deep sand. Last hour of daylight pulled up on old bull and driver almost knocked PHs off of truck backing into trees. PH said shoot in shoulder! Quick first shot, stalk and kill. Watch out for other buffs standing guard.
The death bellow of a dagga boy Cape buffalo will make the hair stand up on the back of your neck or you’re not human.
Broken windscreen on way back from flying stones on road.
Blaser R8 is one of the greatest rifles ever built. Ability to quickly swap barrels/bolt faces for caliber changes, lightning fast straight-pull bolt, take down design that fits the entire kit into a short travel case, and ability to quickly swap optics with RTZ QD mounts.
Like “The Fix” rifle by Q chambered in 8.6 Blackout despite its nontraditional appearance – probable choice for future safaris. Got to check out the new Taurus Expedition Rifle and looking forward to shooting that as they broaden their larger caliber offerings.
Aimpoint sights are the fastest way to get a fast and accurate shot on any target. Used a Micro H-2 but new ACRO will be my choice moving forward.
Had included a Leupold VX-6 illuminated reticle magnified scope in my kit, but never wound up using it. All the shots were inside 100 meters in heavy brush.
Check your mount screws before and after zeroing. Let’s just say it was an issue.
Don’t wear sunglasses. Great while riding on the truck, but they seriously complicate spotting game once you get out into the bush.
Braai setup in camp on a raised long stone platform. Camelthorn campfire in center feeding coals under grills of wild game at either end. Going to copy that at home.
PH Zander now a friend – Bror Von Blixen reincarnated. Note to self, don’t bring the wife or daughter. Not that he’s dishonorable or untrustworthy in any way – just a South African stud that’s probably irresistible to women.
Delta cancelled flight home last minute. Rebooked me on SAA to Atlanta via Capetown – with zero percent chance I could have ever made it on time. O.R. Tambo airport departure involves long lines airline check-in, line for SAPS rifle processing, followed by Disney World length lines at security and passport control (hundreds of people waiting, three officials). Groups of 21-35 year old local guys pushing up through lines like they had no idea you have to get there early.
Went to SAPS office at airport to extend rifle permit, as flight cancellation meant leaving the day after it expired. Lucky I did. Would have been a big problem. Special fee required. Last one of the trip.
Southern Star Hotel at Joburg airport worked out well.
Porters tried to shake us down for more money after hauling our mountain of camera gear.
Standing in one last line – at the Atlanta Airport weapon reclaim office. Just a gun check and hunting boot disinfection spray away from getting back into the US. Already plotting my next trip. I can’t wait to get back to Africa.
Editor’s note: This trip is the subject of several films produced by “Aimpoint Hunts The Globe” scheduled for release in October, 2024.
