By John Vogel
Reading is good for you, so I’ve read. Here are some books to expand your worldview (or maybe maintain it), and you can read while drinking. At the very least, women will think you’re more intelligent than you may well be.
- No Beast So Fierce by Edward Bunker – Edward Bunker, better known as Mr. Blue from Reservoir Dogs, spent the vast majority of his early years in and out of California prisons. During a stint at San Quentin, he managed to pen this book while also avoiding getting stabbed or dropping the soap. The book details (of all things) a guy just getting out of prison trying to re-acclimate to the outside world. The book is gritty as it gets, and is written as beautifully as one can. Read while drinking a 5th of cheap whiskey in a brown paper bag and smoking a $1 cigar.
- Fire On the Mountain by Edward Abbey – Abbey was an anarchist with a penchant for firearms, explosives and environmental extremism, but in a good way. This book details the struggles of an aging cowboy losing his ranch to eminent domain so White Sands Missile Range could be expanded. The crossroads of the pursuit of happiness and the government. His stubbornness leads to all out war as he defends his property from invasion by the US Military. It’s got it all: cowboys, guns, explosives, property rights, and individual liberty. Read with a Winchester 92 in your lap while drinking ranch water.
- Cities Of The Plain by Cormac McCarthy – The cliché would have been Blood Meridian or No Country For Old Men, and I hate clichés but I do love those books. Cormac McCarthy is the greatest author of the 20th century in my opinion. Brutally graphic and masterfully written, his stories rarely have happy endings. Two cowboys struggle with drought, life and love of Mexican mujeres de la noche. It’s got something for everyone. Read after eating a meal of steak, beans and rice washed down with Old Grand-Dad Bourbon, as per the book.
- Lonesome Dove by Larry McMurtry – I get you probably saw the mini-series, but this book is my favorite Western novel of all time. Two aging Texas Rangers turned ranchers face the harsh reality that the West that they knew and fought in is pretty much closing up shop. The banditos are dead, the indians are on reservations and Texas is boring. So they cut out for Montana, hoping to make a killing in selling cattle but more importantly get one last adventure in before the end of life. And just this once, it is ok to cry at the end. Read while drinking stiff coffee that will support a horse shoe. (Editor’s note: FE recommends a stoutly brewed cup of Black Rifle Coffee’s CAF Roast. With enough caffeine to require a warning label, your eyes will be vibrating so hard you won’t be able to cry.)
- Confederacy Of Dunces by John Kennedy Toole – There have been attempts to convert this book to a movie, but due to the political incorrectness that saturates this book, it just isn’t possible for this current generation. An over-educated, under-skilled 30-something wanders through New Orleans hoping to lead a reformation of society, only to find that he’s too tired. This bastard of a book is hilarious but also explains why America is the way it is at the moment. Read while drinking cheap beer and eating microwaved hot dogs.
Bonus reading: anything by P.J. O’Rourke, the commander-in-chief of political satirists. Former editor-in-chief of National Lampoon, contributor to Car and Driver and foreign affairs correspondent for Rolling Stone, he served many decades as the token conservative. A self-avowed Libertarian, his writings will explain everything from why politicians suck, why millennials are whiny, why boomers are grumpy and even how to survive as a bachelor. Parliament of Whores is a must for any personal library, and will probably serve to red-pill your liberal friends. Per P.J. O’Rourke: enjoy with Chivas and an expensive cigar, preferably Cuban.
