By Gayne C. Young, Field Writer
Dr. Robert Liston was one of the fastest surgeons to ever cut a man apart.
But he didn’t hurry for the honor of being the fastest.
He rushed because most of his patients weren’t under anesthesia.
That’s a good enough reason for me!
Robert was born in Ecclesmachan, Scotland, on October 28, 1794. He was educated by his father and at the local Abercorn village school before rushing off to study medicine at the University of Edinburgh in 1808. He trained under Surgeon William Blizzard in London in 1816 then became a house surgeon at The Royal Infirmary of Edinburgh under Dr. George Bell in 1818. Robert got canned from this position only a few years later when, in 1822, he and Dr. Bell had a falling out. Robert was reinstated in 1827 before being promoted to operating surgeon in 1828.
It was during this time that Robert began working on his speed and was soon known as the “Fastest Knife in the West End.” Robert’s speed undoubtedly helped many a patient, as only one out of every 10 of his patients died on the table. Compare this to other surgeons who generally lost one out of every four patients–and the fact that anesthesia was yet to be used–and you see why folks lined up outside Robert’s office waiting for a cut.
But Robert’s speed had a downside.
He once rushed through a leg amputation only to inadvertently slice that same patient’s testicles off.
This man was not under anesthesia.
Another time Robert took off his assistant’s fingers as he went at a patient’s leg, then slashed through a spectator’s coat. Unfortunately, both the patient and the assistant died as a result of infection. The man in the slashed coat dropped dead from shock. The result of this 28-second operation is the only known surgery in history with a 300-percent mortality rate.
Robert not only loved operating fast but also operating on those whom other physicians deemed a lost cause.
Robert called this being a good doctor.
Other doctors called this being a show-off.
In addition to amputating folks for speed, Robert was also an inventor. Two of his creations, the “Liston Splint” and the “Bulldog” locking forceps are still used today. Robert also published two medical texts, The Elements of Surgery and Practical Surgery.
Robert’s era came to an end with an operation he performed on Frederick Churchill in 1846. Robert walked into the operating room, and instead of begging the audience to time him as he usually did he exclaimed, “We are going to try a Yankee dodge today for making men insensible.” That dodge was ether and Robert used it to knock Frederick out before cutting off his leg.
In 25 seconds.
Yeah.
Whether using anesthesia or not, Robert was still fast.
Robert the “Fastest Knife in the West End” died less than a year later in a sailing accident on December 7, 1847.
We just want to know what type of blade and sharpener he used, because it takes most of the FE staff seemingly forever to get two backstraps off an elk.
