Christmas Gifts for Guys Like Us

By Jeff Johnston, FE Hunting & Shooting Editor

We all know the deal; Each year we secretly hope that just one of the gifts we open contains something that doesn’t make us hide behind our Magnum P.I. mustaches and say, “It’s my favorite flask of all the ones you’ve given me,” when what we really want to say is: “You should’ve saved your damn money.” These well-intended loved ones often lament that we are impossible to shop for because we have everything. Maybe so, but who among us wouldn’t trade all of the shirts and genuine pieces of useless shit we receive each year for any gun, even if it’s an exact duplicate of one we already have? In fairness however, guns are rather daunting to buy for others given our laws, so here’s a short list of items we’ve curated for anyone who bothers to actually ask.

  1. Eotech Magnifier 

Why a magnifier for Christmas? Because few people think of it, and mainly because nearly all of us have multiple red dot sights. If you have a magnifier you know how incredibly useful it is when mounted behind any larger red dot sight such as an Eotech holographic or an Aimpoint; it can instantly turn a home defense carbine into a 400-yard rig by merely flipping it into position. At least one of us has even started using this red dot/magnifier setup on crossbows for hunting; Eotech’s G45 mounts on a pic rail in less than a second without tools and offers 5x magnification to make long shots with a red dot a hell of a lot more doable. We promise you, any gun guy will like it even if he doesn’t know what it is at first. $590

  1. Leica Binoculars

Every man, even if he doesn’t hunt, covets top-notch binoculars. Pilots, sports fans, hot neighbor watchers–everyone. Hell even if he never uses them, he’ll set the Leicas on his book shelf in full view and wink coolly each time a buddy sees them and says enviously, “Damn, you went high-roller on the glass.These are niiiiice.” To be sure, Leica’s Trinovid HD 8X42s aren’t cheap, but they aren’t ridiculous either, and after one look through them he’ll know what he’s been missing all these years. $1,000

  1. Airforce Airgun

If you don’t get a real gun for Christmas the next best thing is an airgun. But not any old Gamo POS from Wal-Mart, but rather a precision rifle with which you can pick off varmints across the yard while drinking a cocktail from the comfort of the porch. The Condor SS (or a model like it) from Airforce airguns is the way. Go with a caliber larger than the typical .177, like .25—or hell, 50 cal.—so it can be used to actually murk some stuff, all while remaining legal in most jurisdictions. Around $700

  1. TenPoint Crossbow

In the same spirit as the airgun, a high-end crossbow is a bonafide gift for any dude. It’s doubtless that had one of these modern medieval devices been hanging in Maynard’s pawn shop as Bruce Willis’ character chose a weapon to kill Maynard and free Marsellus Wallace, he’d have chosen it over the Samurai sword. But seriously, a good crossbow such as TenPoint’s Viper 430 can instantly turn any average rifleman into Fred Bear during bow season. We’ve tested many TenPoints over the years, and all of them shoot less than 1½-inch groups at 30 yards. Best yet, to reduce the volume of cuss words on Christmas day, they come damn-near fully assembled. $1,750.

  1. Pak Mule Cargo Carrier

We know you people because we know ourselves, and so we know all of us have more crap than we can haul in a normal sized truck (If you have an SUV, it goes without saying). The point is, we all need a hitch-mounted cargo carrier, but not the cheap kind that’ll bend like warm taffy the first time your husky buddy Darrel stands on it to get his fat fingers on another beer. Rather, we want one that actually looks ok on your truck and will last. We’ve tried them all, and the welded-aluminum one from Pak Mule is the tits. $995

  1. Field Ethos Journal Subscription

If you’re on a budget, there’s really only one choice for a decent gift: It’s Field Ethos’ award-winning FE Journal.  (Ok, maybe it hasn’t won any awards yet, but those awards are bullshit anyway.) With its unapologetic, bold, manly and adventurous spirit that’s a throwback to unapologetic, bold, manly and adventurous magazines of the past, there’s nothing like it out there, and probably never will be again. Buy a quarterly subscription or go cheap with a single copy. Either way, the back cover is sure to shock at least one family member on Christmas day. But rest assured it will be read cover to cover when the in-laws mercifully bug out. Order it right now, right here, and check one dude off your list. $15

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