By Jason Vincent
We all joke about shower guns because, in concept, it seems like an excessive application for a sidearm. But it isn’t, especially if you live alone. Even more so if you’re a woman living alone and happen to have just watched Psycho on AMC. So, what makes a perfect shower gun?
First, you need a reliable platform with as few moving parts as possible. The shower environment is hostile for any object with permanent placement in this area. Left alone, this is one area of the house that accumulates gnarly shit that could impede cycling or function. For a handgun, this makes the revolver the shower king.
Second, you should select a finish that will resist oxidation. Nickel or chrome are best, Cerakote or stainless will work fine. Blued? Out of the question. You don’t want rust shutting down your rig, and the shower is definitely a rust-inducing area.
Rubber Ducky EDC
Third, you want a firearm that’s mechanisms are as enclosed as possible. Again, this comes back to accumulating gunk in mechanisms crucial to reliability. If we’re talking about revolvers, this means a revolver with a fully shrouded hammer. This shouldn’t be confused with a bobbed or flush hammer. You want the hammer enclosed in the shroud.
Fourth and final is the price. Regardless of how often you maintain your shower gun, it’s inevitably going to turn into the shittiest gun you own, so buy something inexpensive that you’d be ok with having heavy-handed and abrasive cleaning performed on later. The shower revolver is a beater gun in the truest sense of the phrase.
So, what’s the perfect shower gun? We think it’s the Taurus 650 in .357 Magnum. It’s reliable, stainless, shrouded and cheap. With .357’s loaded, it’s a powerhouse. With .38’s, it’s very easy to handle. It’s a point-and-shoot gun that’s hard to shoot accurately beyond 10 yards, but if you’re a normal person, even with shampoo-blurred eyes, half this distance would be a longer shot than you’d ever need in your bathroom. If you empty the five-shot cylinder and your intruder isn’t dead, it’s naked wrestling time. In my case, this is the best way to inflict massive trauma…mentally.
Price: $315ish if you look online
Pros: Powerful, reliable, and you won’t cry when it gets some surface rust.
Cons: No lanyard loop for hanging like soap on a rope, but you can live dangerously and hang it from the trigger guard.
