Go Team Gun Ban

By Mr. Pink

Don’t worry America, the B-Team is here. Gun violence will soon be gone like affordable gas thanks to President Biden’s formation of the Office of Gun Violence Prevention.

Although the official White House press release announcing the new federal office doesn’t say how it will accomplish its goals, it lists them. They include:  

“Banning assault weapons and high-capacity magazines; Requiring safe storage of firearms; Requiring background checks for all gun sales; Eliminating gun manufacturers’ immunity from liability.”

We are not sure how suing gun manufacturers for the illegal acts committed by criminals with guns will result in anything but the total annihilation of the firearm industry via the courts (gun manufacturers are already liable if they sell defective products) but we suspect that’s the Office’s intention. 

We also don’t understand how banning assault weapons and requiring background checks will cause south side thugs to surrender their stolen heaters just because the Office says so, but hey, gangbangers are often misunderstood.

The taxpayer-funded OGVP consists of a cadre of D.C. experts—the Ban Team—whose favorite play is the ol’ “End-Around Power Gun Grab on Two” that, if nothing else, usually results in a few less self-defense options for the good guys. It’s headed by Vice President Kamala Harris who’s fresh off her bang-up job as Immigration Czar, a position that forever dubbed her “The Bill Belichick of Border Security.” After such thorough work in preventing illegals from entering the country, keeping gats out of hands is sure to be a cinch.  

On a serious note, it seems to us that if the OGVP were really committed to gun safety and reducing violent crime, it would join with professional organizations who actually teach kids about the dangers of guns, train adults in their proper usage for self-defense, and prosecute criminals who use guns in crime. But nope, gun safety is not what this crack squad of Second Amendment snipers is all about. We can prove it. 

If it were about decreasing deaths, they’d go after inner city gangs that are the No. 1 producers of gun crime. It might go after handguns that account for the vast majority of all gun deaths—most of which occur in about a dozen of America’s most impoverished cities—but that would be viewed as racist by their constituents and bad for business. 

The OGVP’s agenda, as it admits, is to take your AR-15. Just don’t be surprised when, after AR-15s are banned, it comes for the next gun on their list. Groups like this always work incrementally by taking one right at a time, as long as it “saves just one child’s life.” But over time Americans will wake up to a Second Amendment that’s been whittled down to nothing but a few anemic words on a piece of paper. 

We’ve got the First Amendment for words; we must have a fully intact Second Amendment to protect all the rest.

Editor’s note: The lead image is satirical and AI-generated. 




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