Father’s Day Gear List

By FE Staff

We’re hard to shop for? Maybe if you’re shopping at Macy’s. Get us some high-quality man-gear and we’ll be happy, even if we already have it. Here are a few suggestions for the clueless.

Condition 1 31” Large Case: $330

We’ve never met a real man who gives a rat’s ass about designer luggage. What is valued, though, is a practical, do-all case that will protect our shit from gorilla baggage handlers, knocks, drops, water damage, and petty hotel thieves. Condition 1’s 31 inch roller case does all that, yet it’s the maximum size allowed to be stored in the overhead compartment of a commercial airplane, so you’re not required to pay $30 and check it if you don’t need to. When not traveling via air, rest assured it will be used on hunting trips, campouts and any time The Dude wishes to protect valuable stuff like guns, camera equipment, and bottles of booze from the symphony of destruction—aka, his own kids. 

Eberlestock Freefall Pack: $230

We don’t know what it is about men, but there’s something about a pack—the concept of having all your necessary stuff in one organized container that can be carried on the back—that gives us a great sense of peace. Eberlestock makes the best packs in the world, and the Freefall model is a great all-around size for hunting as well as general travel. Choose an earth tone color like gray or green, because camo just invites trouble when passing through Laguardia, O’hare or LAX.  

Turtlebox Gen 2 Speaker: $400

What separates this portable bluetooth speaker from the others he already has is that it always works, even after his drunken ass kicks it off of the boat and into the river. The Gen 2 speaker is loud enough to disrupt a pro-Hamas college rally, and it lasts for 20 hours on one charge, a charge that can also be used to juice your phone. It weighs about 10 pounds, features a stainless steel tie down, has a microphone input (so you can combine it with electronic game callers for hunting), and is without a doubt the toughest speaker ever built. 

Hogue Expel Scalpel: $114

Havalon knives—you know, the knives whose scalpel blades are replaced rather than sharpened—are a great idea but not great in practice because the blades tend to pop off too easily when under pressure. Hogue Knives has remedied the problem with its Expel Scalpel knife that features a blade ejecting/locking system that’s both secure and quick. This 1.4-oz. knife comes with 5 replaceable 440-stainless steel blades, perfect for post-hunt skinning duties or performing surgery on a buddy in a pinch. 

Field Ethos Gear

We know we’re biased—biased toward good booze, great hunts, and wearable stuff that signals to the world at large that you’re down for adventure (or at least a beer and a nap.) Check out all of FE’s curated man-gear here. Or, if you have the cash and are desperate to win Wife of the Year, choose a hunt from FE’s Outrider outfitting service, and, as they say in Goodfellas, forgetaboutit.  

Hornady 10-Gun Welded Cabinet: $220 

Yea, we know he’s already got a 64-gun safe in the cave, but we promise you he needs another one–or three. First of all, that “64-gun” hunk of steel only actually holds about 30 guns, so don’t think another one is overkill. Second of all, he needs a secondary vault in the garage, shop, office, and the lakehouse, where he can stash guns and other valuables like power tools and optics. Hornady’s 10-gun cabinet is small enough that it doesn’t require professional movers, yet sturdy enough when bolted to the floor that it’s actually useful against sticky fingers. For its cost, you can’t go wrong. 

Barrett Model 99 

Once upon a time in the suburbs, a rather ordinary housewife bought her rather ordinary husband a Barrett .50 caliber rifle, and the next day she turned into a beautiful queen who all the other housewives envied forever. The end.  

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