Confessions of a Gun Junkie

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Hello, my name is Ian-Bradley Johnson and I’m a junkie. It’s been 5 days since my last fix.

I knew in the back of my mind walking into the gun store that day was a bad decision.

Walking past the used section, I was scanning to see if anything new had been added that morning. Not seeing anything new I went up to the counter and proceeded to fill out a background check to pick up the custom rifle I bought online a week prior and had transferred in. Almost thankful that there wasn’t anything else in the store that interested me, I planned to leave without spending any money.

Just when I thought I did ok, the store manager came out front to tell me of a massive collection that had just arrived, everything was in the back and had yet to be priced out. My senses heightened and I made my way behind the counter to see what was in the back. I saw a pile of ancient-looking gun cases all piled up on a table. All of the sudden, I started sweating like Howard Carter when he realized he’d found the treasure room in King Tut’s Tomb. Unzipping the first-time capsule of a case, I found a BRNO 21 in 7×57 – a deal had to be made.

My name is Ian-Bradley Johnson and I’m a confessed gun junkie.

Honestly, by this point, I am past it being a casual hobby. Every morning, the first thing I check is gunsinternational.com and various gunbroker.com saved searches. I want to see what popped up online the night before. In addition to this, I have a list of people I call periodically to bug them about that certain gun, “they might get rid of.”

My full-time job sometimes gives me downtime in various cities around the country. If I have a few hours to kill after my work is done, I will go through every pawnshop and gun store within a reasonable distance. My part-time job has me in just about every local gun store most weekends. I keep the managers of these stores happy so that I get first dibs on certain guns that come in. I know all of them on a first-name basis and when they call me to let me know they have something in it’s like a drug dealer putting the word out to junkies because dammit I’ll be there that next Saturday to get my fix.

You’ll see plans change in a hurry if you’re riding with me on an off day. Watch me pass a new pawnshop and see how fast I pull a U-turn. This is not even restricted to the USA either, I have an importer I work with and I follow gun auction houses in about four different countries. Odds are if I walk away from dinner due to an “emergency” it’s really just a time-sensitive deal. My weekend nights are spent looking up various importation laws and restrictions because who knows…I might find an original .416 Rigby in India owned by royalty and I’ve gotta get it here.

There is always a way.

What have I become? I went from buying a used rifle 60 miles from my house to looking for sporting guns all over the world.

I’m a junkie and there’s no shame in it. My guns are pretty cool.

By Bradley Johnson

Bradley Johnson. Age 29. Louisiana native. Will perform sexual acts for fine vintage rifles.

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