By Jeff Johnston
I prefer bourbon to vodka, capitalists to socialists. So naturally, I prefer the Kentucky Mule to the Moscow one. Here’s how to make this cool, classically Americana cocktail:
Ingredients:
- 2 ozs. (or more) bourbon. We prefer Chicken Cock, because besides being a great Kentucky bourbon that’s been around since 1856, it is one of the few non-endemic companies that has the balls to work with us.
- Ginger beer
- Ice
- Squeeze of fresh lime or lemon
- Garnish of mint, if you wish to get cutesy
Instructions:
Of course you could go cheap with an ordinary copper cup, but why when you can buy Field Ethos’ ridiculously over-engineered—and overpriced—all-copper, handmade Everything Mug that you can use to beat someone upside the head if you had to? So get one, and fill that bitch with ice.
Next—and this is key—pour in two or more shots of quality bourbon, because life is too valuable to drink Jim Beam. I’m not saying I haven’t guzzled a ton of it over the years, but that was back during middle school when I could barely afford a cafeteria lunch. As times change, so should your bourbon.
Top off the bourbon and ice with a brief waterfall of ginger beer. It doesn’t really matter what kind, as long as you don’t get too crazy with it. Don’t let the ginger completely dominate the bourbon, as gingers are known to do.
Then stylishly chop a lemon or a lime in half with your pocket knife and squeeze it like you’re in a cow milking contest at the county fair. One forceful, pulling squeeze and toss the rind without looking back.
Finally, garnish with a sprig of mint—if you wish to go for that mint julep look that’s so popular among the man bun hipsters we often laugh at. Otherwise, give your mint-less drink a manly circular shake and swig it as if it is the antidote to all your mental problems.
Cheers, buggers!
